Although a divorce is often emotional, and there may be a lot of pressure and stress for all parties, it doesn’t have to be a fraught situation. It is possible to have a good divorce if everyone is keen to make it happen.

Approach the divorce practically

Try to keep your interactions with your partner calm and as unemotional as possible. Above all, make sure that the channels of communication remain open while you’re finalising the details of the divorce. When you’re discussing change, or how the relationships involved should move forward, give your reasons and take the time to fully explain. It’s also best to avoid talking to your partner if you’re feeling upset, it’s late at night or you’ve had a few drinks. If you feel that your relationship has gone beyond the point of civility then it might be worth letting solicitors handle things.

Don’t hide anything

This applies to everything, from new relationships to financial assets. In particular, the courts aren’t impressed when one partner in a divorce tries to hide assets or slows the process down by not being honest. The more open you are about your situation, the simpler it should be to resolve.

If you have children, focus on their interests

The courts prioritise the wellbeing of children in divorce situations and so should a divorcing couple. Before you look at what you need from the divorce, work out the best way to proceed for your children. Try to protect your children from the proceedings, especially where arguments and anger are involved.

Avoid the most common mistakes

  • Ignoring key correspondence. You might want to delay proceedings, frustrate your ex-partner, or you might be busy trying to cope with this big life change. However, key correspondence – whether from the courts or solicitors – should be dealt with swiftly and efficiently to ensure you don’t create time lags that increase costs.
  • Using your children in the process. It’s tempting to use your children to hurt an ex-partner, especially if they have behaved badly or been unfaithful. However, this can leave scars that take a long time to heal.
  • Sticking your head in the sand. If you don’t want to be divorced you may feel inclined to try and ignore the process. However, the reality is that this is happening and you need to engage with what’s going on to ensure that you are treated fairly and can begin to move on.

Mediation might be the key to a good divorce

The presence of an objective third party can make it much easier to reach agreement where key matters are concerned, such as financial settlements or arrangements for children. Mediation is all about non-confrontational methods that help to find common ground.

It is possible to divorce in a way that feels positive. Although the circumstances may be difficult, if a divorce is carefully managed, it can allow everyone to move on in a healthy way.