Changes to a family unit will inevitably cause upheaval and stress for everyone involved, and it is important to remember that children will need to be reassured throughout the process as to what is happening, and that they are at the heart of any decisions made by the parents.
When families break down, children need to be sure that they will still see both parents, and will no doubt have questions and concerns about how this will happen. The questions will inevitably be different depending on the age of the child. Where will they live? Will they be able to continue their hobbies? When will they see extended family members? There will no doubt be questions to answer alongside reassuring them that this is not their fault and that both parents still love them.
It is important to note that there is no set ‘rule’ about the time each parent should spend with a child after separation, it is about working together to agree what is in the best interest of the individual child. In some cases, that may be an arrangement where the time is split relatively equally between both parents, in other cases it may be weekend visits and teatime plans. It is important to consider not only the child’s needs, but how parents can commit to the arrangements practically. Situations where parents are living close by and can both get children to and from school are going to have a different outcome than those where one parent may work away during the week, or work long hours.
When deciding on arrangements for the children, communication is key, however difficult it may be. The Court should only be involved in dealing with arrangements for the children where there is a dispute that cannot be resolved through other channels, including mediation or family counselling among other options. It is expected that as parents you are able to consider your children’s needs and work amicably wherever possible to meet those needs.
In all cases, advice can be found on the CAFCASS website, https://www.cafcass.gov.uk which has a wealth of resources to help separating parents and includes work sheets and information as to how to approach the topic of separation with children of all ages.
Of course, there are some cases where it is not possible to reach agreement, and advice and assistance from solicitors can be invaluable, either in assisting to reach that agreement, or in relation to representation during court proceedings.
If you are in need of advice on any of the issues in this article, please contact the Family Team here at Mewies on 01756 799000.